Worst IEP Ever

I am sure you can think of your favorite worst-ever IEP comment, goal or objective. Here are some of my favorites over the years:

• In reference to a student with no volitional movement below the chin, "Given a cloth placed in his clenched fist, student will wipe his mouth with hand over hand assistance." (What's the point? How is this in any way meaningful?)
• In reference to a student that is legally blind (eye report says he sees shadows), "Student will identify 2" picture symbols with 80% accuracy" (Oh yeah? Nobody taught me how to perform miracles in teacher school.)
  
• In reference to a student who uses wheelchair and a supine stander, "Student will stand 30 minutes a day." (Really? Just get up and stand? And how exactly is this a student goal? Isn't this an adult goal? Doesn't it mean, in secret code, "Teacher will place child into stander for 30 minutes a day"?
• Favorite comment from a mother at an IEP meeting, "I don't know who the man listed under "father" is and I think that is a problem." (This family was a very nuclear kind of family.)
  
• From a "positive" behavior plan, "If the student acts out by physically touching others he will be sent home." (Sounds like a great way to get out of doing work, "Math, no thanks, I'll just grab this girl instead and then go home.")
  

Comment and add yours.